I try to be different, yes it's true
But a broke ass comic from Chicago ain't nothin new
I want a rich, joyful life, so just ask me anything you need
Cause I get my happiness from other people’s opinions of me

I ain’t afraid to smoke weed around kids
I’ll use a child to shield the wind
Like to tell myself, I get high cause it’s what my art needs
If that is the case, consider my art masturbating

Are you impressed with me? Are you impressed with me?

(chorus)
Are you impressed when I rollerblade? I don’t even wear a helmet
Cause I look more badass when I’m wearing my fedora
Are you impressed I’m a country girl? My southern ways on autopilot
Like givin’ it up to Jesus, every time I touch a football

I am as white as a southern church steeple
But I got a black roommate, so now I can join the club of white people who know black people
No that’s not a frown, it’s a permanent state of depression
Am I the most fucked up person you know? Don’t be an asshole validate me cause I’m damaged

Are you impressed with me?

(chorus)
Are you impressed with the way I dress? Do ya wanna dress like me?
Then go to Target and then become a lesbian
Are you impressed I know all the words to Ain’t Nothin But A G’ Thang
So invite Snoop to karaoke, cause I’m about to sing it again

(reggae part)
One, two, three and to the four
A blue eyed and blonde haired comedian that’s me is at the door
Ready to make you laugh by being an idiot
And you know that I don’t take no shit, cause I’m a feminist
But back to the lecture at hand
Are you impressed by my skills? Am I as good as a man?
And if the answer is ‘yes’ I’m gonna jizz myself
Cause what I like best is to impress people nothing less than get em’ to bow down
And if they like me good enough then maybe I’ll get a crown
And has word gotten around about how cool I am?
I work in customer service, so I get to kiss rich people’s butts all day
And sometimes when I go home, I smell like rich people poo

Are you impressed with me? Are you impressed with me?