LGBT Redneck

by Amanda Costner

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    Also included on the album is a bonus audio sketch and a remix of "Play It Cool".

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about

A gay preacher's daughter spills the dirty details about her hook ups and weed habits by combining dynamic vocals with witty punchlines.

credits

released April 8, 2017

Produced by Drew Snyder, Audio Sketch Vocals provided by Amer Abdullah

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about

Amanda Costner Minneapolis, Minnesota

Amanda Costner is a solo comedic musician who hails from Oklahoma and bases out of the Twin Cities. Amanda has performed at Second City, Brave New Workshop, Looney Bin Comedy Club and bars & theaters throughout the midwest. Her comedic songs range from acoustic pop ballads about being a gay preacher’s daughter, to soul-comedy pieces on the war of sexual frustration. ... more

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Track Name: Are You Impressed?
I try to be different, yes it's true
But a broke ass comic from Chicago ain't nothin new
I want a rich, joyful life, so just ask me anything you need
Cause I get my happiness from other people’s opinions of me

I ain’t afraid to smoke weed around kids
I’ll use a child to shield the wind
Like to tell myself, I get high cause it’s what my art needs
If that is the case, consider my art masturbating

Are you impressed with me? Are you impressed with me?

(chorus)
Are you impressed when I rollerblade? I don’t even wear a helmet
Cause I look more badass when I’m wearing my fedora
Are you impressed I’m a country girl? My southern ways on autopilot
Like givin’ it up to Jesus, every time I touch a football

I am as white as a southern church steeple
But I got a black roommate, so now I can join the club of white people who know black people
No that’s not a frown, it’s a permanent state of depression
Am I the most fucked up person you know? Don’t be an asshole validate me cause I’m damaged

Are you impressed with me?

(chorus)
Are you impressed with the way I dress? Do ya wanna dress like me?
Then go to Target and then become a lesbian
Are you impressed I know all the words to Ain’t Nothin But A G’ Thang
So invite Snoop to karaoke, cause I’m about to sing it again

(reggae part)
One, two, three and to the four
A blue eyed and blonde haired comedian that’s me is at the door
Ready to make you laugh by being an idiot
And you know that I don’t take no shit, cause I’m a feminist
But back to the lecture at hand
Are you impressed by my skills? Am I as good as a man?
And if the answer is ‘yes’ I’m gonna jizz myself
Cause what I like best is to impress people nothing less than get em’ to bow down
And if they like me good enough then maybe I’ll get a crown
And has word gotten around about how cool I am?
I work in customer service, so I get to kiss rich people’s butts all day
And sometimes when I go home, I smell like rich people poo

Are you impressed with me? Are you impressed with me?
Track Name: Should We Hook Up?
You give me the eyes, and the pace of my heartbeat it quickens
Eyebrows are raised, and I think I know just what you’re thinkin
It could be great, it could be unicorns humping in honey
Or it could be bad, like Putin dry fucking Trump’s hairpiece

(first chorus)
Should we hook up
Maybe our friendship would grow while I bang you.
Should we hook up
Feeling the guilt and the shame is something I’m very used to

We might fall in love, and it might cause a rift in our drinking group
And when we break up, will you promise to delete my nudes
It could be great, it could be unicorns floating on Kush
Or it could be bad, like Steve Buscemi eating out Barbara Bush

(2nd chorus)
Should we hook up
You should know, that sometimes my thighs get real greasy
Should we hook up
You might see some stuff on my pannies
Should we hok up
Plz let me know so that I can start shaving
Should we hook up
It might be real bad but it might be amazing

That wasn’t so awful, I might even wanna try it again
If this wasn’t so awkward, if when you saw me you, hadn’t ran

(3rd chorus)
We shouldnta hooked up
I feel like you owe me a favor
We shouldnta hooked up
Cause now you remind me of all my own failurs
We shouldnta hooked up
Doing your friends is just fucking with nature
We shouldnta hooked up
Don’t ever fuck people you know, just strangers and animals
Track Name: Play It Cool
Don’t wanna scare you off, don’t want this to stop
So I try to play it cool, if you knew what I wanna do
My friends say, you’d never stay
And what would be so wrong,
with googling her to fill the lyrics out in our soon to be love song?
They shake their heads, I say ‘look’
What’s wrong with writing every word she says in this little secret notebook?

Don’t give a fuck what they say
I’m gonna snapchat you twenty times a day
I’m coming on strong, so look out

(chorus)
And are you scared? Cause I wanna make a duplicate wig out of your hair
Not for anything wrong, just in case you’re ever gone

Don’t wanna run you off, just wanna turn you on
So I’ll dress up like Rashida Jones
I’ll change the background on your phone to a picture of my cornea
And what could be so bad
With renting puppies so we can roll around with them in bed?
My friends tell me ‘play it cool’
Meanwhile I’m writing out this poem about the first time we played pool

Don’t give a fuck what they say
I’m gonna smother you in every single way
I’m coming on strong, so look out

(chorus)
And are you scared? Cause I wanna make a t-shirt out of your underwear
So I wrote you a song, is that so wrong?
And are you scared? Cause I won’t stop kissing on your forehead
It’s just I’m really into you, it’s hard to play it cool
Track Name: Coastin'
What am I doing with my life right now? Coastin by
What am I doing with my life right now? Getting high

She said she’s an artist. Don’t you mean an alcoholic?
Ain’t that the same thing?
What are you doing? Thank you I had an audition
How long ago?
Just last spring.

Mom and dad think I’m spending my every night
Putting my time in at these open mics
But I’m spending 90% of my night trying to find the right movie on Netflix
I’ve watched the beginning of thirty movies in one hour

Is it coastin’ cause I’m not boastin bout my new novel
It’s not finished yet, but it will be
It’s about me.
How many pages have I done? Not many, but lots of character descriptions

What am I doing with my life right now? Coastin by
Not washing my hair as much
What am I doing with my life right now? Getting high
Giving organic food a try

He asks, ‘are you single?” Oh could you smell my desperation
And low self esteem?
‘It was just a question, but by the way have you tried online dating?’

All my friends are stressing bout not being married
Holy shit, that sounds rough my friend
With me what’s new? It’s all cool, I’m twenty-eight
And just realized I’m a fucking lesbian
I’m gonna be so bad at eating pussy

Is it coastin’ cause I’m not boastin bout my group of ethnically diverse friends
Social boundaries we transcend
I’m busy fighting racism by getting drunk in a bar
And singing that U2 song “One Love”

What am I doing with my life right now? Coastin by
Wearing lots of messy buns
What am I doing with my life right now? Getting high
Trying to pronounce the word Quinoa

I’m just coastin so lets get toasted